magic toadstool

When I can’t afford to get my roots dyed, I like to swap half the cost for a Magic Toadstool cake for my hairdresser’s daughter. 

Ingredients:

2x340g packets buttercake mix

35cmx50 prepared board

1 ½ quantities butter cream (One quantity= beat 125 softened butter in a small bowl with electric mixer until it is as white as possible. Gradually beat in 1 ½ cups (240g) sifted icing sugar and 2 tbsp milk, in 2 batches. Flavour and colour as required.

Yellow and pink food colouring

15cm round cardboard

Decorarions:

4 pink fruit sticks

2 spearmint leaves

8 mini heart lollies

1 yellow fruit stick

25 large heart lollies

24 silver cachous

3 large white marshmallows

3 white marshmallows

1 tsp cocoa powder

Assorted mini fairy statues

Method: 

1. Preheat oven to 180C. Grease 1.25L (5 cup) and 2.25L (9 cup) pudding steamers.

2. Make cakes according to directions. Pour mixture into steamers until three-quarters full. Bake smaller pudding about 35 mins and larger pudding about 55 mins. Stand cakes in steamers 5 mins; turn onto wire rack to cool. Using serrated knife, level cake tops.

And here is where I ran into problem number one. After turning my nose up at the suggestion that I use packet cake mix, I decided to find a cake recipe that would suit the pudding steamers—simple, but not a cake that would rise too much because of the risk it would collapse in such a narrow space. I decided on AWW’s golden syrup coconut cake. 

So far, so good.

After the recommended cooking time of 40 mins, the cake was nowhere near cooked in the centre. I foiled it and waited. More than an hour passed before it was done.

A bit brown on the outside, but as good as can be expected. Now to ease him out of his pudding steamer. 

Oh.

Let’s try again.

No time for nonsense any more. I went for AWW’s basic butter cake and hoped it wouldn’t collapse. I also lined the absolute crap out of the large pudding steamer. 

They took a little longer than described in the recipe which resulted in them browning a bit too much on the outside. No biggie, I need to trim them to make the perfect shape anyway. 

Now for the fun part!

3. Place small cake on board. Tint half of the butter cream with yellow colouring; spread all over cake for toadstool stem.

Firstly, can anyone tell me how those AWW ladies get their icing so smooth? We tried all sorts of utensils but it still looked a little on the ‘rustic’ side.

4. Position large cake on cardboard round, cut-side down. Position large cake on toadstool stem for toadstool cap. Tint remaining buttercream with pink colouring (we used purple), spread all over cap.

 5. Place pink fruit sticks, side by side. On flat surface; trim tops of sticks to make rounded door. Position on toadstool stem for door.

Musk sticks can be placed in the microwave for easy shaping. They can also be placed in the microwave for a couple of seconds too long and turn into a lumpy, exploding pink pile.

6. Split spearmint leaves in half centre; slice halves into three pieces. Use centre pieces for stems and side pieces as leaves; position around toadstool stem. Position two mini heart lollies at top of each spearmint stem for flowers (I couldn’t find mini hearts so Chon had the ingenious idea of using tiny slices of musk stick).

7. Cut yellow fruit stick into thin strips; using a little water, position on two large heart lollies; position on toadstool stem for windows (instead of this, I drew the windows with awesome edible glitter pens that I got from Coles. I also went a little crazy on the marshmallow toadstools). 

8. Position 6 large heart lollies on board at front of toadstool for path. Decorate toadstool cap with cachous and remaining large heart lollies.

9. Using a little butter cream, attach large marshmallows on top of smaller marshmallows, sprinkle with sifted cocoa powder; position around toadstool. Decorate toadstool with fairy statues (this happened later).

Phew! After a day of angsting, we managed to pull off a fairly decent looking fairyland wonder Birthday surprise. I didn’t get to eat the magical cake myself but I hear it went down pretty well. 

chocolate marsala cake

When you bake choc-fudge cookies that make you want to **** in your *****, how do you follow them up with a chocolate cake that doesn’t disappoint? Thank you, Nigella.

Ingredients:

Cake:

Scant ½ cup unsalted butter

4 oz bittersweet chocolate, broken up

4 large eggs

½ cup plus 1 tbsp sugar

1/3 cup self raising flour, sifted 3 times

3 tbsp Marsala

Icing:

4 oz bittersweet chocolate

1 tbsp Marsala

1/3 cup plus 2 tbsp heavy cream

Another Nigella quibble: crazy measurements. There has to be a simpler way to express all that.

Method:

1. Preheat the oven to 180C. Melt the butter and chocolate together in the microwave or a double boiler, and then set aside to cool slightly. 

2. Beat the eggs and sugar together until thick, pale and mousse-like and greatly increased in volume; they should double, triple even.

Gently fold the sifted flour into the egg mixture, trying not to lose all of the air. Now fold the butter and chocolate very carefully into the cake mixture (I should say at this point that of all the uncooked cake mixtures in this book this is without a doubt my favourite: leave yourself a decent amount in the bowl for scraping-out purposes. (Oh Nigella, how deliciously wicked you are. Lick that spoon)).
 

Pour into the pan and cook for 35 mins, by which time the top should be firm and the cake underneath dense and desirably damp.

Everything so far is going exactly as Nigella has described for me. The cake is a really nice matte colour, as if it’s been dusted with cocoa.

3. Cool on a rack for 5 mins, and then pour over Marsala. I find it easier to do this by the teaspoonful so that the liquid in evenly distributed. Leave the cake to cool completely before releasing it from its pan.

4. So, the icing: melt  the chocolate, Marsala, and cream in a heavy-bottomed saucepan over gentle heat.

Take it off the heat, and whisk until it reaches a good icing consistency; smooth, thick, but not solid. I like to spread this just on the very top of the cake, which anyway sinks on cooling so that you should have a roughly circular sunken pond to fill, leaving an outline of cooked-cake rim. When set, you’re left, beautifully, with a Sacher-shiny disc of ganache on top of this dusty-brown, matte cake.

Shiny brown pools, just like Osama Bin Laden's eyes.

Verdict: I didn’t have time to wait for the cake to cool because this birthday wasn’t going to wait. This actually turned out quite well. When I cut into the cake, the icing ran down the sides like a brown Nigella sauce.  All in all, it was a whole new cake-eating experience. It’s basically a chocolate mousse with a crisp layer on the outside which creates the illusion of cake-ness. I don’t even usually dig chocolate cake but this was a different situation entirely.

damp lemon and almond cake

I rang Mum and asked what she would like me to make for Mother’s Day dessert. She told me she would like something that doesn’t make her feel fat. I went through all my recipe books trying to find a cake that doesn’t make you fat, then I remembered that all cakes make you fat. So then I tried to find a cake that doesn’t create feelings of fatness. I settled on a Nigella Lawson recipe. Oh, okay...

I have mixed feelings about my new book, ‘How To Be A Domestic Goddess.’ It’s my first Nigella experience, and although the recipes look delicious, it gets very tiring wading through the constant erotica in attempt to extract the instructions on how to cook things.

Ingredients:

1 cup soft unsalted butter

¾ cup sugar

4 large eggs

1/3 cup all purpose flour

1  1/3 cups ground almonds

1/2 tsp almond extract

Grated zest and juice and zest of 2 lemons

Method:

1. Preheat oven to 180C. Cream together the butter and sugar until almost white. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, adding a quarter of the flour after each addition. When all the eggs and flour have been incorporated, gently stir in the ground almonds, then the almond extract, lemon zest, and juice. 

I can do that.

 

2. Pour the mixture into an 8 inch springform pan, greased and lined with wax paper. Bake for about 1 hour. I say ‘about’ only because ovens seem to vary so violently. I’ve cooked this in one oven when it was finished after 50 minutes; in another it needed 1 hour and 10 minutes. Whichever, after about 30 minutes you may well find you have to cover it loosely with foil; you don’t want the top of the cake to burn.

Hold on, Nigella. I have a feeling that regardless of the ‘violent’ differences that exist oven to oven, the cooking time may be more consistent if you’d given a more accurate description of how much lemon juice to use. Because I find that something that also varies violently is the size of lemons. In my violent oven, the cake took about an hour after being covered after 40 mins.

The cake is ready when the top is firm and a skewer, when inserted, comes out cleanish; you want dampess, but no battery goo. Take the cake out and let it stand for 5 mins or so in the pan. Then turn it out onto a wire rack and leave to cool.

3. Then, preferably, wrap well in tin foil and leave it for a couple of days. Push some confectioners sugar over the cake through a fine sieve or tea strainer when serving. I can’t stop myself murmuring ‘raspberries’ to you, either.

(It took a lot for me to copy down that last part).  

Serves 6-8

Verdict: I elected to serve the cake that day rather than tell Mum she had to wait 2 days before she could eat her cake. It was very damp, in fact I’m not sure it would ever be necessary to wrap it up. In Nigella’s long intro to this cake, she uses words like ‘slab,’ ‘dense,’ ‘sharp-toned meltiness’ and ‘gloriously plain.’ Although I wouldn’t have chosen those words myself, they all stand. The cake is delicious.

chocolate fudge cookies

All I can say is uuuuuuhhhhhhhh, oh my gosh.

Which is probably why they are the first result that comes up when you Google 'choc fudge cookies.' Thank the lord for that because it was a bit of a gamble when running around Woolworths to decide that I didn't want to make jam swirl cookies, I wanted to make something fudgey and delicious. Thank you, iphone! This recipe if from www.joyofbaking.com which I had never been to, but if every recipe is an Americany Awesome as this, it's my new favourite place. They also have a really comprehensive ingredient substitution page which is worth a look.

Ingredients:

1 cup (115 grams) pecans or walnuts

1/2 cup (55 grams) cake flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon instant espresso powder or instant coffee powder (optional)

1 pound (450 grams) bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, coarsely chopped

1/4 cup (57 grams) unsalted butter, cut into small chunks

1 3/4 cups (350 grams) granulated white sugar

4 large eggs, room temperature

1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract

1 cup (170 grams) semisweet dark chocolate chips

1 cup (170 grams) white chocolate chips

First of all, I didn't use any nuts because I didn't have enough money. Secondly, I used milk chocolate chips instead of dark so we could have a triple-awesome-every-kind-of-chocolate cookie. Thirdly, I take weird American ingredients to mean:

Baking flour=plain flour
Bittersweet or semisweet chocolate=dark cooking chocolate

I haven't checked this, but it worked out fine. Also, I was about 50g short of dark chocolate. Got that? Okay, let's press on.

Method:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (177 degrees C) and place rack in center of oven. Place the pecans on a baking sheet and bake for 8-10 minutes, or until lightly brown and fragrant. Let nuts cool and then chop coarsely. 

2. Sift or whisk together the flour, baking powder, salt, and espresso powder.  

Melt the chocolate and butter in a stainless steel bowl placed over a saucepan of simmering water, stirring until smooth. 

Remove from heat and set aside to cool to room temperature. I was in too much of a hurry for that bit, so I left it about 10 mins (and it's freezing here) and that was plenty.

3. In the bowl of your electric mixer (or with a hand mixer), beat the sugar and eggs until pale yellow and thick, about 5 minutes. (When you slowly raise the beaters the batter will fall back into the bowl in slow ribbons.) 

Go Mixmaster, go!

4. Beat in the melted chocolate mixture and vanilla extract.  Fold in the dry ingredients to the chocolate batter and mix only until incorporated. Stir in the chocolate chips and nuts. Cover with plastic wrap and 

refrigerate the batter until firm, about 30 minutes (or overnight).

5. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (177 degrees C) and place rack in center of oven.  Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.  Drop batter by 1/4 cupfuls (60 ml) onto prepared cookie sheets, spacing evenly.

With moist fingers, press batter to form 3 1/2 to 4 inch (9 - 10 cm) rounds. 

Bake cookies about 12 - 14 minutes or until the tops of the cookies become dry and cracked, but are still shiny. Do not over bake. Remove from oven and place baking pan on a wire rack to cool.  When cookies are firm, remove from baking pan and let completely cool on rack.

Don't try and put them on a wire rack--if you haven't overcooked them they should be too floppy when hot to move.

Funny thing is, first batch looked like this:

Oh yeahhh.

  Second batch looked like this:

Oh.

It was either cookie aliens or batch #2's baking tray was too small. That tin was voted off the island for the rest of the batches. Make sure your cookies have plenty of room to move in the oven, because they become quite enormous (have I mentioned they're American?)

 

These cookies are best the day they are baked but can be stored in an airtight container at room temperature for a few days.

Makes about 24 large (giant) cookies.

Verdict: These cookies are the shiznit. I took half the batch to my parents' house and half to my friend's, who was puppysitting for me. Even my mum, who doesn't particularly like cookies, ate two. My friend, I'm fairly sure, has eaten all twelve.

almond pear tart

Every May we have lunch with my parents' ex-commune hippie friends at their house in Bilpin. They have a bed and breakfast and lots of land covered in golden trees and a ride-on lawnmower now. So I make something warming and autumny.

Ingredients:

145g butter

2 cups plain flour

1/4 cup caster sugar

2 tbsp iced water

Poached pears:

3 cups water

1 ½ cups sugar

3 brown pears, peeled, halved and cored

Almond filling:

75g butter

½ cup caster sugar

1 egg

1 1/3 cups almond meal

2 tbsp plain flour

1 ½ tbsp brandy

Method:

1. Place the butter, flour and sugar in a food processor and process until the mixture resembles coarse breadcrumbs. While the motor is running, add enough iced water to form a soft dough. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30 min. 

I find with Donna Hay's shortcrust that it takes a teeny bit more water than she says. But maybe that's because my food processor is a bit of a weakling. 

2. To make the poached pears, place the sugar and water in a saucepan over medium-low heat. Stir until the water is dissolved, then simmer for 5 min. Add the pears and simmer for 15 min or until tender. Remove from water and allow to cool on absorbent paper. 

3. Preheat the oven to 180C (350F). Roll out the paper between sheets of non-stick backing paper to 3mm (1/2 inch) thick and line a 22cm (9in) tart ring. Another thing about Donna Hay's shortcrust is, although delicious, it is very short, which makes it an a-hole to roll out. Just a warning.

Trim the edge, line the pastry with non-stick baking paper and fill with baking weights or rice. I use dried peas because they aren't as messy as rice. And who wants to buy pastry weights.

Bake for 10-12 min, remove the weights and paper and bake for 10 min or until light golden. Cool.

(I forked it so it didn't bubble)

 4. To make the almond filling, place the butter and sugar in a bowl and beat with an electric hand mixer until light and creamy. Beat in the egg, then fold in the almond meal, flour and brandy. Spread the filling over the pastry.

I didn't want to buy a bottle of brandy so I used 1 tbsp vanilla extract instead.

My almond filling didn't fill the pastry shell very high. It looks like a shallow pool, which makes me feel a bit sad.

Slice the pears, keeping the stem-ends intact, then arrange them over the filling. 

Bake the tart for 50 min or until golden. Serve at room temperature with (single or pouring) cream. Serves 6. 

Verdict: I was quite disappointed that it didn't look like it did in the picture, but I think that had something to do with the size of the tin I used. The almond filling is quite rich so you wouldn't want to pack the thing full, but I feel like it could have done with a bit more. Maybe that's the lack of brandy talking though. Or maybe it's because instead of being cut into 6 slices, it was cut into 17. The pastry was yummy, but a little overcooked, so keep an eye on it. It still looked the part though, with its 'rustic' edges, so I can't complain.

hot cross buns

Happy Jesus day, everyone! Let's eat  food!

I've been wanting for a while to venture into baking with yeast, and what better time to start than the anniversary of Jesus dying and coming back to life? This recipe is (surprise!) from AWW.

Ingredients:

1 tbsp dried yeast

1/4 cup (55g) caster sugar

1 1/2 cups (375ml) warm milk

4 cups (600g) plain flour

1 tsp mixed spice

1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

60g butter

1 egg

3/4 cup (120g) sultanas (I used more like 1 cup--I like my buns sultana-y)

Flour paste:

1/2 cup (75g) plain flour

2 tsp caster sugar

1/3 cup (80ml water) approximately

Glaze:

1 tbsp caster sugar

1 tsp gelatine

1 tbsp water

Method:

1.  Combine yeast, sugar and milk in small bowl or jug. Be fussy about measuring the yeast—it’s important for success. Cover, stand in warm place about 10 mins or until mixture is frothy.

So far, so good.

  2. Sift flour and spices into large bowl; rub in butter.

Although the recipe calls for room temperature butter, my pastry-making adventures tell me this could get gooey so I use refrigerated. That, and I didn't think ahead. 

Stir in yeast mixture, egg and sultanas. 

Don't make the mistake I did and stir the yeast mixture in completely before adding egg and sultanas--you'll need the milk to help mix the egg in with ease.

Use a wooden spoon until mixture becomes too stiff, then use your hands. Mix into a soft sticky dough. Cover with plastic wrap, then a tea towel. Stand in warm place about 45 mins or until dough has doubled in size. 

3. Grease 23cm square slab cake pan or deep 23cm square cake pan

4. Turn dough onto floured surface; knead about 5 mins or until the dough is smooth, elastic and the sultanas appear to be popping out. Divide dough into 16 pieces (if you can be bothered, weight each portion), knead into balls. Place balls into pan; cover, stand in warm place about 10 mins or until buns have risen to top of pan. This will take about 15 minutes, depending on the temperature of the kitchen and the dough. 

5. Meanwhile, preheat oven to 220C/200C fan-forced.

6. To make flour paste, Combine flour and sugar in a cup. Gradually blend in enough of the water to form a smooth paste. Place in piping bag fitted with small plain tube (I used a zip-lock bag with the corner cut off), pipe crosses on buns. Be generous with the crosses as the buns will rise even further.

7. Bake buns about 20 mins. Turn buns, top-side up, onto wire rack. They should be well-browned and when turned out, should sound hollow when tapped on the bottom with your fingers.

8. To make glaze, stir ingredients in small saucepan over heat, without boiling, until sugar and gelatine are dissolved. 

Seeing as Coles had run out of gelatine (everybody had the same idea as me--losers) I only had leaf gelatine left over from an abandoned Christmas idea. Now if you're not familiar with the Great Leaf Versus Powdered Gelatine Debate, don't bother because it's ridiculous. Basically, conversion from leaf to powdered gelatine is one of the oldest mysteries of civilization and we are no closer to an answer. So, I did a bit of reading, took a guess and decided one leaf of gelatine (mine is titanium strength). Dissolving it in water didn't work at all so I ended up chucking a sheet in the saucepan with the sugar and water and it worked okay, I just need to stir for ages. 

Brush hot buns with hot glaze. Cool on wire rack. 

Verdict: Effing delicious. I love Jesus.